From My Perspective - - -

A eulogy is an interesting concept. The basic meaning is – “a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing; high praise or commendation.” We sometimes hear the equivalent of a eulogy when someone is being honored or elevated to a position of responsibility. However, for most individuals, eulogies are reserved for being “a set oration in honor of a deceased person.” This is something that makes one pause and think – should we not be more willing to affirm and honor people who are alive and trying to do significant work rather than it being more of a post-script to a life of one after his/her death? Isn’t it possible that such affirmation and/or honor would lift up another’s spirit and motivate an individual to keep pressing on toward a goal and the sense of achievement of the same? Why do we usually wait until after a person has died before nice and complementary things are shared about that person?

Some of us have experienced the demise of people we knew and appreciated. The wives of two colleagues died within days of each other as they succumbed to cancer. My wife and I had known and visited with them for almost fifty years or more – then suddenly, unexpectedly, abruptly – word came that they were gone – they had died. It was a time for emotional reflection for us as we discussed the transition and adjustment these two widowers were now experiencing and the tremendous sense of loss – aloneness – with which they would now have to cope. It allowed for some sobering reflection – what were the last words we shared with one another; what lasting memory would we have of the one who has been a partner in life for fifty years or longer; what does one do when the love of one’s life is no longer there to continue the journey in life; etc.? What do you do at night when you’re in bed and reach across to touch or hug the love of your life – and realize anew that he/she is not there?

We tend to deal with life – and – each other – in a more matter-of-fact manner than we should. We assume that we’ll continue to live and be with each other forever. It has provoked in us the desire of sharing with each another how very much we love and care for one another as we near a 57th Wedding Anniversary. It’s fun – a joy – to do more and more things together – yard work, walking, shopping, driving – just to be together. Why is this the case? Why does one have this sense of affection? One of the aspects of a man and a woman wanting to be joined together in marriage is the inner and deep desire for oneness with the other person. My wife and I are working on a life history that will be passed down to our children and grand-children. In my introductory section, I have written the following: “The further influence comes from my life partner in this ministry odyssey and journey. A servant of the Lord is greatly handicapped without a “closest friend” and one who is united to him as an “heir together of the grace of life” (I Peter 3:7 NKJV). My beloved Peggy has enthusiastically shared in doing the work of ministry and has encouraged her husband to far exceed his skills in serving the King of kings and Lord of lords.”

The idea for a life companion is God’s! Whatever marriage is supposed to be has been originated by God for man’s completeness. We find this in Genesis 2:18-24 (NLT), “And the Lord God said: It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him…So the Lord God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam's ribs and closed up the place from which he had taken it. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam…Adam exclaimed: She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called woman, because she was taken out of a man. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Someone formulated the following: God did not use a bone from man’s foot so he might walk all over her; God didn’t select a bone from man’s hand so be might beat or be abusive to her; God chose a rib from under man’s arm so that he would protect her – the rib also being near to man’s heart so he would love and cherish and love her. Express and demonstrate that love as frequently as you can. Share words of affirmation and appreciation as often as you can – while you can!  Consider these things with me!