MYOPIC MERRIMENT

From My Perspective - - -

As Christmas Day approaches, there has always been an emphasis regarding being “merry” and “joyful”! However, for all too many, the Christmas Season is anything but “merry” and “joyful”! For the families in Newtown, Connecticut who have lost a child or loved one in the recent mass murder of innocent people, a permanent scar will be attached to the Christmas Season for years to come.  A headline story in the WSJ is, “War Tragedies Strike Families Twice.” The story touches upon the reality of the sorrow that overwhelms one because a loved one has been killed during two recent wars. The article continues, “Over the past 11 years of war, the U.S. has experienced a little-recognized suicide outbreak among the parents, siblings and spouses of the more than 6,500 Americans killed in Afghanistan and Iraq.”

It seems as though we have become myopic in terms of those around us. We don’t completely understand the inner-turmoil of those who many encounter during a given day. We lack sufficient empathy in terms of how another is feeling or the issues which have become a burden in their lives. If a person isn’t showing merriment, a common reference is: “Stop being a Grinch.” Our myopia – “lack of foresight or discernment…narrow-mindedness or intolerance” – may not be intentional or deliberate. However, the one who is struggling at this time of the year needs understanding, encouragement and affirmation.

Another aspect of myopia occurs when older family members are either ignored, forgotten or passed by when a family event is being planned. The idea of “Over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother’s house we go…” is no longer in play in many situations. Parents (or Grandparents) are not included or made to feel like they are being patronized more than actually wanted as part of a family activity. Sometimes harsh words get exchanged and an elderly parent is ignored and allowed to languish during the Season when being “merry” and “joyful” is being referenced in cards, celebrations and song. The Older/Elderly parent is still young at heart and would love to be included – but – they still have an inner pride and will not ask to be invited. Also, they will not suggest that they should be because they have the sense that they are being intrusive more than being a wanted part of a gathering. There are those who had experiences in their past that have tarnished their ability to fully enter into being “merry” and “joyful” as they wish they could. In different churches, Pastors have congregants who see certain times of a year to be difficult. This is especially true for those who had the death of a loved one days before Christmas. Two families come to mind, when as a young child, the burial of a parent took place on the day before Christmas. Years pass but the memory of that moment in one’s life is not fully forgotten.

Someone wrote and stated well, the following: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth (Ephesians 6:1-3). Thus, honoring our parents is a command, which we dare not ignore. But there is a second reason for carefully studying the Fifth Commandment. Honoring our parents is one of the highest callings and the greatest tasks we face in life. There are two great tasks in life to which most of us are called. The first is the bearing and raising of children, to bring them from the absolute dependence of the womb, to the independence of adolescence, to the maturity of adulthood. The second is the caring for our own parents in their declining years. Often this involves the deterioration of the physical body, and frequently of the mind. The raising of children has its pains, but it usually is accompanied by the joy of seeing our children grow up, become mature and responsible, and independent. The caring for our parents is seldom as rewarding. The culmination of this process is the grave.” Is it possible for any of us to get beyond a myopic moment and realize there are people home alone, or in a Nursing Home or other care facility – who are still young at heart and would love to be part of a Family who wanted them present? Try to remember, and genuinely make time for others who feel alone and unwanted. In a familial sense, they would love to be “merry” and “joyful” as well. Consider these things with me!