From My Perspective - - - 

On the website – Fathers.Com – is an interesting presentation regarding: “Your Heritage and Your Legacy” written by Ken Canfield. He states the following – “Some of my recent study has gone toward helping fathers understand the hand-in-hand connection between their heritage and their legacy. Becoming a father is often a catalyst for a man to process his past and begin planning for the future—his and his childrens. With that in mind, I have come up with an exercise for fathers consisting of two sets of six questions… The first six questions focus on your heritage: (1) In reflecting on your relationship to your father or father figure, how would you describe his support of you? (2) Did he regularly show you affection? (3) Was he present and accessible to you growing up? (4) Did he struggle with substance abuse or was he unfaithful to your mother? (5) Did he abuse you or another family member? (6) Would you say he was a good example? The second set focuses on your legacy: (1) What values and skills do you want to pass on to your child? (2) What are your child’s greatest challenges? (3) What are his greatest strengths and gifts? (4) How can you strengthen your relationship with him in the coming year? (5) What physical and emotional resources will be required for your son or daughter to face the future with confidence? (6) Whom can you count on for support and counsel as you father your child?...” 

One’s life can be greatly influenced and impacted by his past. I am the youngest of three children and have a vivid memory of seventy years ago today. It was in the early morning hours when the policemen came to the door of the tenement in which we resided to inform my Mother that our Father had died. I stood at the doorway behind my Mother and have the continuing memory of the emptiness of that moment and the wonderment of what the future held (our Father was buried on Christmas Eve, 1941). Where we lived was in a nice, clean German-oriented neighborhood. For whatever reason (perhaps embarrassment, or financial need), shortly after the turn of the year, my Mother decided to relocate us to a tenement that was the reverse of where we were living – to a dingy and dirty and backward community where we were clearly the “outsiders.” It was clear that we did not fit, did not speak Italian, were not Roman Catholic and were further advanced in schooling than in the comparable grades where we were placed (or displaced). We didn’t know that we had moved into a “ghetto” atmosphere – but – we were aware that it was traumatic for all of us. My Mother had to find employment; my Grandmother came to live with us and to be a care-provider; due to our Father’s malady, we had to go to the Board of Health for X-Ray observation…It was a debilitating, demeaning and difficult time – – a time when we felt isolated and alone.

One of the positives with these transitions was that our Maternal Grandmother - a godly woman who knew the Bible and was willing to share it with everyone - came to live with us. A verse that is too often generalized rather than particularized is Psalm 127:3, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” The Message paraphrases it: “ Don't you see that children are God's best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?” There are several places and circumstances where one can observe the workings of the Lord in one’s life. Personally, I find substance and application to the clichéd words – “I’m not all of what I ought to be; I’m not all of what I’m going to be; but – praise God – I’m not all of what I could have (or might have) been!” Early on in my life, I underscore a verse in my Bible – Deuteronomy 33:27 – “The eternal God is your refuge, And underneath are the everlasting arms; He will thrust out the enemy from before you, And will say, 'Destroy!'” I think it was a personal quest to be accepted or to have some sense of worth and value. Our Mother would remind us – “Be the best of whatever you are.” In that regard – and later on - a different verse challenged and motivated me – II Corinthians 5:15, “He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.” These words, as well as those of a college Hymn, challenged me then – and – continue to challenge me now. The Hymn: “All For Jesus, all for Jesus! All my beings ransomed powers; All my thoughts and words and doings, All my days and all my hours… Let my hands perform his bidding; Let my feet run in His ways; Let my eyes see Jesus only; Let my lips speak forth His praise.  Consider these things with me!